foolish heart

She has been like this for quite some years now... Often sitting stock-still with spectacles in one hand, staring in vacuum... Her heavily-kohled, half-closed eyes are fixed somewhere farther than they seem to be... Her mind is still like an abandoned battlefield, after the war has been lost and won...  She is oblivious of her beautifully shaped body of which she had been so very proud. His presence was not the only reason behind all the happiness, the pride, and the cheer her life was full of before he left. ..But his absence is certainly the reason behind the stillness, the silence, and the oblivion now.  Her foolish heart is still full of adoration and amour for him. But she doesn't want him back... To put it in a cliched term -she has "moved-on".  

Really? Has she ?

Sad and solitary, she still spends her days and nights with him, but doesn't want him back. She still shares secrets with him, cracks jokes, gets annoyed, seduces him at times, and even recreates the experiences that are close to her heart; but, doesn't want him back. It's ok to love him like this... It doesn't hurt. She still waits for his calls, for his texts, and sometimes craves for a surprise visit. Her tea goes cold and the papers become listless of fluttering too much, when she sits to write, but instead starts knitting her most elaborate fantasies of  running into him in a mall or on a beach or at a fort ... But she doesn't want him back.  

Or does she ???